My Sweet Little Kitten
by Wherdatcomfrom
Summary: Graduation day had come and gone. Life went on as usual, but not for one poor soul. Kyo ponders his new circumstances and the relationships he had missed out on. (not a KyoYuki pairing, rated for Mental illness issues. No Shonenai)
1. A life alone

This is the first fiction I am submitting to please remember that this is a story about Mental illness, I am not an expert on all psychosis and may have errors due to this fact. I have tried to portray Kyo in character as he changes with his circumstances. Also, this is not a love story. Never will be. It is a story about a friendship developing is the most surprising place, but will not contain any romantic or sensual scenes. If you want those go to Adult FanFiction and see my stories there.  
  
Anna  
  
Disclaimer: I hold no rights to the characters in this fiction. I have not now, nor will I ever recieve financial remuneration for this work. I only write to support my own form of mental release needs. On with the story.  
  
My Sweet Little Kitten  
  
The sun was rising on another day, but there was no interest in sunrise anymore for one poor soul. Kyo rolled away from the window and pulled the covers over his head. The boy who used to rise early each day and greet the rising sun, do work/outs in the gardens and take a long jog, all before breakfast, no longer had any interest in the sun. He was trapped inside and the rising sun only served to remind him that he would never again run among the trees and workout amidst the flowers and plants of the gardens. He didn't want to be reminded of the place he used to do these things, and then to recall the people he used to eat his meal with when he finished these activities. He would never see them again either. He was trapped. They were still free. It wasn't bitterness at their freedom that made his soul ache and his insides curl up. It was the loss of the freedom and companionship those day entailed.  
  
Graduation had been seven weeks ago. He had been brought here the following day, and here he had stayed. This one small room, with two small barred windows.  
There was a guard at the door,(who had made it plain that he had no love loss for the cat) the one entrance, he was stationed beyond. The room had a bed, a dresser, and a desk and chair. He used the dresser to hold all he owned, a few clothes and some paper, pencils, brushes, paints and ink. The desk was to double as a table as his meals were brought here, one of them currently growing cold among the various pieces of paper strewn about the desk. He had no appetite, and this tray would be returned untouched as the last was. Lastly there was a curtained off area in one corner for him to attend to his bodily functions. But, today, he just layed on the bed, hiding under the blanket trying to sleep, but not to dream.  
  
His dreams lately had been nightmares. He couldn't remember most, but he woke to each in a cold sweat and shaking, and then had to fight himself to return to the much needed sleep. He usually couldn't and would then rise to pace the small room, and count the steps from one side to the other, 7 steps long and 12 steps wide.  
He had long since mapped it out, and now he refreshed this once or twice a night. On a good night he got as much as 5 hours sleep, before the cycle began again.  
  
His only visitors were Akito and Kureno, and one visit a week ago from Hatori, to check on his health. Odd that the rooster would come with Akito to see him, as he had never seen the man before this. It wasn't that Akito needed him for protection, as the guard had always secured Kyo to the shackles built into the bed before anyone entered. Akito stayed only long enough to torture Kyo with words. Reminding him of his fate, and how he had failed to escape it. The rooster never spoke, only stood at the door and watched. Hatori was even more brusque in his visit, he did all the usual check up activities without uttering a single word. It wasn't that he had expected 'them' to visit. He knew they had things to do. They had lives to live and he had always been just an interuption in their days. He was just curious at how they were, and what they were doing, if anything new had happened to bring excitement into their world. These thoughts came unbidden and he would quelch them as foolish and rise to once again pace the room.  
  
But, this morning he felt a desire to rise and cross to one of the two windows. He stood there and scanned the visible landscape. There was a small garden with a high fence. The bushes were plain and there were stands of stone in various locations, a gate was at one end and though it was supposed to be closed at all times, this morning it was open. All the way open and he could see the world beyond. Nothing much was going on, but the thrill of that much more freedom gave his heart a small lift. He closed his eyes and filled his lungs with the fresh air, leaning against the bars to get as close to the outside as he could. Then the reality hit him as it was want to do, and he sighed out the breath and opened his eyes to the realism of his prison. He gazed out the open gate and saw it as another harsh reminder that he was never to walk out of the gates of this hell, and the world beyond it was lost to him now.  
  
Suddenly, activity sprang forth through that gate. A car drove past, and parked just beyond. He heard voices at a distance and realized it was Hatori. He had returned from somewhere, and that usually meant he had been to Shigure's house. Everyone else lived here, and he would not have needed his car for that. Had Shigure gotten sick or hurt, or Tohru perhaps. He was speculating on what terrible things could have happened that would call Hatori out so early this morning, when he realized that Hatori wasn't alone. He had gone somewhere to bring someone back with him. Shigure perhaps, or maybe it was just time for that rat, Yuki's monthly examinations. He squinted at the distance trying to see if anyone was walking up the walk beyond the gate, but alas, he couldn't. Well, why would he want to see Yuki, anyway? It was his fault he was here, wasn't it? If only he hadn't beaten him in every fight they had had.  
  
No. He wouldn't do that anymore. He was too tired to keep trying to make this Yuki's fault. He was here because he was the cat. And the cat was always put away, before harm could be done to others. He dropped his hands from the bars and turned away from the receding voices. Crossing the room, he raised the cover on the food that had been brought. It looked completely unappealing. He replaced the cover and crossed to the bed, to drop into it and stare at the ceiling once again.  
  
Closing his eyes brought the flood of memories, the days in the little house in the woods. He could almost smell the trees, and hear the insects and birds. He lay there stretched across the narrow bed imagining he was once again reclining on the roof, with the sun slowly setting in the distance and as he lay there, he could hear the sounds of the house settling beneath him, Yuki in his room doing his homework, Tohru doing the dishes, or the laundry, Shigure in the study typing away at the keyboard to his computor. It was a simple life but a good one, he realized that now. In that house he had gone to sleep each night, secure and comfortable his stomach full with delicous food, unless he was foolish enough to miss a meal from his own stubborness. He had been happy most of the time, even school had not been so bad. Tohru's friends and the other students had treated him like he was accepted. He had even been the brunt of some good natured joking. He found himself chuckling lightly at the memory of the nickname he had picked up. "Nekozuki" he said outloud to no one in particular. "Cat friend. As if anyone wanted to be that."  
  
"As if indeed." A voice shattered his daydreams. The guard entered and he was once again secured to the bed for Akitos visit. "Why would anyone want to be your friend? You have no friends, and no family. You don't belong anywhere. Does that make you sad, Neko? I have been considering. I may be able to give you Kagura as your wife. She is willing, in fact she is enthusiastic. What do you say, Neko? Do you wish to take a wife?" He stared, this was out of the blue.  
  
Kagura had always wanted him to marry her. That didn't surprise him, but to have this treat dangled before his eyes. Just when the seclusion had started to become unbearable. It was too good to be true.  
  
Too good to be true. When something seemed like that, it usually was. And this was. He wouldn't do that to Kagura. She would say she wanted this, but she didn't.  
Even if they were allowed to be married, He didn't love her. And He wouldn't ask her or anyone to live like this with him. Or possibly, to be married and live separately, even worse. No, this was just a toy mouse full of catnip, smelled good but the treat was out of reach. "I don't want to marry anyone."  
  
"I see. I am surprised. Well then, I will leave you. It will be a while before I visit again, enjoy your privacy. No one will be permitted to disturb you as usual." and he was left to mull over these words. No one would be permitted. So, it didn't matter if anyone wished to see him, no one would be permitted. Kyo sighed into the bed he had once again been released from. Pulling the covers over him, he drifted off into unfulfilling sleep, devoid of dreams at least. 


	2. Kyo and the Neko

The next few weeks went even slower and dragged on even longer, than before. Kyo realized that it was the knowledge that no one would be allowed to visit him, at least before he could imagine someone coming. Now, he was all too aware that the days would never be broken by a visit from someone, news of the outside world or even the sound of a voice not his own.  
  
He had taken to talking to himself, to hear something in the quiet of the room. He rarely even heard the sounds of nature through the barred windows, as the plants in the outer garden here were not conducive to birds nesting or even eating. The insects here were few, as the grounds were sprayed once a week to clear them of such pestilence. Hence he could barely hear the cicadas in the outlying gardens. He truly missed the constant hum of them in the trees, and the birds that would try to catch them, twittering happily. He even realized that the cats of the neighborhood avoided this area. The true meaning of the rock formations, in the garden. They were wards to keep all animals away. And they worked. He hadn't had the company of a single cat since he arrived, and that was truly foreign to him. So,  
he talked. He told himself whatever he felt he should know. Talked about his feelings and reminded himself of things he should remember. He had even come to call himself Neko, as Yuki used to do.  
  
It would sound somthing like: "Neko, you are truly foolish for forgetting that today is Saturday, tomorrow Tohru would be doing the laundry. " "Kyo, I know what day today is, I was just thinking that if we were still in Shigure's house she would be asking if we had anything we needed washing. We would have to stomp up the stairs to our room and gather all the clothes strewn about the floor for her." "Yes, Neko and on the way, we would inevitably have to cross paths with that damn Yuki." "Kyo? Why was it we hated that nezumi, in the first place?" "Foolish Neko, don't you remember? He is the rat. It is all his fault." "It is? Why? What did Yuki do? I just don't remember anymore." Then the both of them sat down on the floor to think about that. They both made several suggestions at each other. But in the end, nothing made sense. Kyo laid against the edge of his bed and closed his eyes. Sleep once again brought oblivion. 


	3. A visit from a cousin

"Kyo. Kyo!" A whispered voice tried to arouse the sleepy orange haired boy. He raised his hand to brush away the intruder. "Kyo!" "Leave me alone Neko, I'm trying to sleep."  
"Kyo, what are you talking about. Wake up, stupid." Now that made him angry. Never had his other voice called him stupid. Foolish, silly and a few other choice phrases had come to him, but he would never call himself stupid. He wasn't crazy, you know. He opened his eyes and scanned the room.  
"Where are you? And what do you want?" He leaned down to look under the bed and crawled over to check under the dresser. Nothing. He returned to his bed and sat on it leaning against the wall. He noticed that the breakfast tray had been removed and some kind of fish smell came from the lunch tray. No, he didn't even want fish. He would rather have a small koi swimming in his sink, making faces at him as it swam around, at least it would look like it was talking to him. He sighed.  
"Are you awake yet? Now, where did you go, I can't see you?" That did it. They were right, he was crazy. He would have saved them the trouble and ended it all except there was never anything lethal around here.  
"Kyo! Come on. Do you have any idea how much trouble I could be in for being here, and you are ignoring me. Are you that mad at me?" The voice was just above him and Kyo turned to see a hand laid on the edge of the window over his bed. He turned slowly and eased his way up to the aperature. Only to come face to face with Yuki. "Gods Kyo! You scared me. Don't do things like that."  
"What are you doing here?" Kyo looked out at the garden Yuki was standing in, he scanned all about hoping to see that no one would catch his cousin in this covert meeting.  
"I came because Hatori told me that you aren't eating. He was worried about you, and so is Tohru. And well, so was I." What was he talking about. Kyo didn't need Yuki and Tohru to tell him when to eat. Heck, he had Neko to nag him about that, though his alter ego had stopped recently.  
"I eat." Yuki gave him a knowing look and rolled his eyes. Then his hand reached through the bars to pinch at the skin on Kyo's hand.  
"I can sure tell. Look at you you're nothing but skin and bones. They are going to make you go insane and what was that business a few minutes ago, have you been talking to yourself. How can we get you out of here if you start acting crazy. Now, go eat your lunch."  
"I'm not hungry! And I don't take orders from you!" Kyo stated firmly rubbing his hand that still hurt from where Yuki had pinched him. A small purple mark was just then rising to the skin's surface. "What do you mean get me out of here?"  
"Shhhh. Not so loud. We are trying to get you out, but it is going to take some time. In the meantime start taking better care of yourself, do you understand?" Kyo shook his head, why would Yuki want to get him out of here? He was his enemy wasn't he?

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I feel responsible and it is wrong. No one should be kept like this. Why didn't you tell me? I would probably have let you beat me, you stupid cat." Kyo started to get angry about that.

"I don't want you to let me beat you, I wanted to win. What would it prove to win that way?"

"What did it prove anyway. Except that Akito is insane, and you are being kept in a cage so that you won't hurt anyone. What is wrong with this picture?" Yuki's voice had a dangerous edge to it and Kyo didn't like the sound. His cousin was barely controlling the anger that threatened to overwhelm him. Kyo was surprised that the one person he knew to rarely allow emotion to show was almost being swamped by the strength of his own.

"You should go. You don't want to be punished for being here. I'll be alright, it's not that bad." He wanted to send Yuki away, not because he hated the boy, because he didn't want to see him succumb to his anger. Kyo did not like the idea of being the cause of that. He would suffer alone and no one would be harmed but himself.  
He had only to convince his cousin that fears about him were unfounded. "I am starting to get hungry, Rat so leave. I don't want my appetite ruined by your presence."  
"Don't lie to me, Kyo. Are you really going to eat?" Kyo nodded at his cousin. Trying not to give anything away in his facial expressions. "Well, I should go. But, I'll be back and you had better look like you've been eating, do you understand?" Kyo nodded again. Yuki glared at him once more before turning and sneaking out of the gate to the outside world, looking back only once before disappearing around the fencing. Kyo sighed. He hated tricking his cousin, but it was for the best. He slid down to the bed below him and curled up to once again drift into sleep, lunch tray untouched.


	4. The cousins are worried

Another three days of solitude, before- "Kyo." Kyo rose to the window once again.  
"You shouldn't come here. It is too dangerous."  
"You haven't been eating." It was not a question, but an accusation.  
"The food here stinks." Kyo was sarcastic and that would not necessarily be a good thing.  
"I see. Here." and his cousins hand reached through the bars to drop a foil wrapped article in his. Kyo looked at it like it would bite him, and Yuki let out an exasperated sigh. "It's a riceball, Tohru sent it." Kyo peeled back the wrapper to expose one of Tohru's famous cat shaped tricolor riceballs. "Eat it!" Yuki ordered. Kyo was too shocked to be angry. He lifted the precious gift and gazed at it longingly. He slowly bit a small piece of the left ear and chewed like there was no other food in the world.  
The taste took him on a trip. To a small cottage in the woods, people talking, laughing, and fighting. It was a trip into heaven. He slowly bit another small piece of the riceball and was remembering days at school with the yankee and the psychic. The school festival where their class had the riceball stand, and he even remembered Yuki in that rediculously ugly dress. A small laugh escaped him. "It wasn't you, it was the dress that was so terrible."

"What are you talking about?" Oops had he said that outloud, bet it was that rotten Neko. Always trying to get him in trouble.

"Eh, nothing. Thank Tohru for the treat, now you should go." and he wrapped the riceball up and stowed it in his pocket

"Is that all you are going to eat? Kyo, I'll bring you more, but eat that one now. I won't leave until you finish it."  
"Why is it so important to you, anyway?"  
"Because I went to a lot of trouble to bring it, and Tohru worked hard to make it, and we are all worried. Now eat it." Kyo growled and reached into his pocket. He tore open the foil and stuffed the remainging treat into his mouth, he chewed mechanically barely tasting the delicious food. Finally he swallowed. Now, perhaps he could get Yuki to leave.  
"Are you happy now? If so, could you please let me have some peace. Things were a lot quieter before you started coming around." Yuki smiled at him. It started to make Kyo angry.  
"Since when do you like quiet?" and his cousin slowly made his way back to the gate and out of the garden. Once he left the silence dropped like a heavy blanket over the world Kyo was living in. He suddenly felt sick under it's oppressive weight. He crossed to the small bathing area and leaned down. Pressing his finger at the back of his throat he forced himself to expell the unwanted riceball from his body. Nobody, but nobody, was going to make him eat when he wasn't hungry.  
  
Next morning, Kyo had a sore throat. "See what happens when you eat something you didn't need, Neko?" He told himself. It makes you sick. He did get up and make himself some tea. He had always drank water or tea when he could get it. Thirst was a driving force in his life. He always seemed thirsty.  
"Kyo?" That was a new voice, well not new, but he hadn't heard it for a while. He rose to the window. Haru was standing in Yuki's last spot. It almost made Kyo angry that Haru had taken his other cousins position, when he wondered to himself why he would care.  
"What are you doing?" He asked the cow.  
"Yuki couldn't come to see you and he told me to give you something." Haru handed him another foil wrapped package. Kyo took it and shoved it into his pocket.  
"Okay, so go."  
"Naw, I wanted to talk to you. Akito isn't around here right now. So it's okay. Do you realize it's almost my birthday. Can you believe it. I wish you could come with us, we are going to the lake for it. Momiji wanted to have it at the onsen, but everyone said that would just be too sad. The lake will be sad enough. I miss you, Kyo."  
"Eh, Yeah, I miss you too, you fat oshi. But, don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I'll ask Akito for some cake that day, okay?"  
"You were one of my best friends, Kyo. I want you to come back."  
"Hey, don't go 'black' on me, Okay? I don't want you to get caught. You should probably go now."  
"Do you want me to give anyone a message for you?"  
"Just tell them I said to have fun." And Kyo dropped out of the window down to the bed where he knew Haru couldn't see the tears slipping down his cheeks.  
He reached into his pocket and threw the foil packet across the room. It hit the wall with a resounding thud and slid down behind the dresser. The vibration of it's impact scattered the papers there and Kyo rose to straighten up his things. He rearranged the assorted drawing he had made into the order he prefered them. There was Tohru in the dress she had worn home from Ayame's store on that strange Sunday visit with Yuki, and speaking of Yuki, here was a drawing of him sitting in class trying to avoid the fangirls as they glared at him from the desks behind him(Kyo remembered their faces, and how scary they were, he had captured them perfectly on the parchment) the next picture was Momiji in that silly girls uniform running through the halls of the school playing pirates or killers or some stupid game with his classmates. The pictures were all that was left of Kyo's life before his imprisonment and he kept them in order so that his life stayed in order. His latest drawing was just taking shape, it was the last New years party. He had still not been allowed at the banquet but he had seen Ayame and Rin in their costumes and could just picture them dancing. It was all there on the paper before him, he had only to add color for it to take life. But, Kyo didn't feel like it right now. He slept.  
  
"Kyo?" This was getting monotonous and he just didn't have the energy for it. Kyo slowly raised himself to the window. He almost didn't make it. "What?" He squeeked through the bars. Kyo had not been feeling very good. He suspected this very person of poisoning him with that riceball. Yuki looked at Kyo with a shocked expression. His mouth opened yet he said nothing. Kyo would have gotten angry but he just didn't have the energy to waste.  
"Kyo, are you alright?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Hey, I got something for you. Hang on." Kyo slid down the wall to his bed. He had made something for Yuki yesterday when Haru had left. He reached over the side of the bed and retrieved it from the floor. Slowly he rose again to thrust it out the window before collapsing on his bed, unconscious. Yuki took the paper in his hands and leaned in to see his cousin. Kyo was not in sight, and there was no sound of movement. Yuki called his cousin and got no answer. He called a few times before panic set in and Yuki raced out the gate to the nearest phone. He called for an ambulance before racing across the compound to Hatori's house to tell his cousin what had transpired. The picture Kyo had handed him was rolled in his hands and he had not even opened it to look at it.


	5. A picture of me?

Kyo found himself in a strange dream. He was laying on a gurney being raced through a local hospital. Lights passed over his head and he heard the distant sound of a doctor saying things that made no sense to him. Words like Stat and hemoglobin, plasma and O-2. He wondered to himself why he would dream such a thing.  
He also wondered why his dream hurt. He felt the prick of the needle as an IV unit was connected to his arm and his stomach rolled as he was wheeled around a harrowing corner at a dangerous speed. He felt the oxygen mask placed on his face and then the dream was no more. He slipped into blessed oblivion again.  
  
Yuki sat on a hard backed chair. Shigure paced the small waiting room. Tohru twitched her hair and muttered things about how she should have done something. Haru was bordering on becoming 'black' and Kagura was about to start displaying her great love for the neko. Yuki thought he should probably say something to at least one of them, comfort them in some way. He couldn't. He had seen the look on Kyo's face when he had come to the window this morning. He had seen the way his skin clung to his bones when the paramedics had cut his t-shirt away to restart his heart. He had seen the truth of what had happened to his once vibrant and hostile cousin. He had seen what Akito had done to him. It scared him. He looked down at the roll of paper in his hands. He had held it the entire time. Never once creasing it nor opening it. He leaned foreward and pulled the small coffee table toward him. He carefully removed the magazines that were scattered around it and slowly rolled out the large sheet of ricepaper that he had held for so many hours. There before him was a carefully drawn sketch of himself. He stared at it. The picture portrayed the school festival, the booth was in the background and the other students were arranged around it.  
Yuki was in the foreground as he had been that day. His purpose to attract customers to the room and then they would buy the riceballs. Yuki recalled that day.  
He had spent the day in extreme embarrassment. He had been forced to wear a costume to attract those same customers, a dress. Kyo had drawn him dressed in a dress but not like the one he had actually endured. This one was a nice dress. It looked oddly good on the picture of Yuki. Why had Kyo done this? What reason would his cousin have to alter reality so? Yuki remembered the pile of papers on the desk in the little room Kyo had been kept in. He wondered if there had been other such pictures. He also wondered about the comment Kyo had made when eating that first riceball. He had said something about a dress. Yuki felt himself carefully roll the protrait up and place it protectively on the seat beside him. The doctor in charge of Kyo came into the waiting room. He was tired from the looks of him and Yuki could see the bags under his eyes and the wrinkles of stress across is forehead. This man was agitated and Yuki could imagine why.  
"His condition is stable for now. He is under observation and will have to remain here for an indeterminate time. We need to get him to a safe point. He will also have to undergo psychiatric evaluation. Does anyone here know why he would have tried to do this?" The doctor scanned the faces in the room. Tohru cried silently and Kagure bawled loudly. Haru was near to exploding at the doctor's implication, and Shigure, for once, had no ready answer. Yuki stepped foreward.  
"He was not happy. He felt his life was hopeless and I think I didn't help him much. I wish I could make it up to him." The doctor asked him who he was and his relationship to the patient. Yuki answered his questions admitting that Kyo and he had fought for years claiming a hatred for each other. Yuki admitted to the doctor that he didn't really hate his cousin, and wanted to tell him that. He told the doctor that Kyo was difficult to talk to, but that he was willing to make an effort to befriend his rival and the doctor said it would take time and that at first no one would be allowed in with Kyo unsupervised. Yuki visably relaxed. If the doctor was telling the truth, then Kyo was safe for now. Even Akito couldn't get to him here. The doctor asked Yuki if he was willing to take that first step now. Yuki jumped at the chance. 


	6. Wake me up!

Kyo felt as if he were packed in cotton. His eyes were clouded and his mouth was covered with some plastic contraption. His arms were tied to the bed beside him, strange tubes running into or out of them. He looked around the room. Oh, it was the hospital dream again. He almost wished he could wake up from this one. An unfamiliar face came into view. A woman of about middle age with dark hair pinned back into a tight bun, with a mask over her mouth and nose, looked down at him.  
He felt her reach out and pull open one of his eyes and a bright flash of light entered painfully. Kyo flinched away from the light.  
"Oh, so you are awake now? Okay, then let's see if we can take this away." and the plastic cup over his face was slowly taken off. "Now, try to breath normally and let's see how your oxygen intake is. Good, once more. Okay. The doctor is on his way and you have a visitor." then she moved out of his line of sight. Kyo was relieved.  
She scared him and annoyed him.  
"How is our patient, nurse?"  
"He's alive. His pupils are responsive and now, so is he. His blood pressure is back to normal and his O2 count is back up. I'm surprised, but you are the best, Doctor."  
"Well, Sohma-san, how are you feeling?"  
"Great, so can I have my pants back?"  
"In good time. You have a visitor, do you feel up to it?"  
"Who is it?"  
"Your cousin is here to see you."  
"You are going to have to be a little more specific than that, Sensei."  
"Ahh, I see. Well, this is one, Sohma Yuki. So now, how are we feeling about a visit from him?"  
"Well, since I don't know how you feel about him, I can't answer for you. But, I would like to see him, so why don't WE let him in, okay?" The doctor scowled at his patients flippant responses but crossed to the door and spoke to the man out there. Soon, the door opened and Yuki came through it. The doctor said something to him and left the room. Yuki crossed to Kyo under the watchful gaze of the nurse and pulled a chair up to the bed. Kyo monitored his progress and noticed the look of disapproval on the face of the nurse. This amused him in some way. For the first time he could remember, Yuki was not the golden boy of the family. Someone didn't love his cousin on first sight. It amused him at first, then it annoyed him. Who was this woman to pass judgement on any of his family? He wished she would leave.  
"Can I talk to my cousin in private?" he asked.  
"Doctors orders. You are not to be left alone. I have my instructions, just pretend I'm not here."  
"That is very difficult, as you present such a large and unsightly image. Yuki, is anyone else here?"  
"Yes, almost everyone came. Shigure and Tohru, Haru and Kagura. We were so worried. They said you almost died. Kyo, don't ever do anything like that again."  
"You brought me riceballs. Thank you. I didn't really eat them, though."  
"Yeah, I figured that out, baka."

"I'm sorry."  
"They were just riceballs."  
"For everything. You and I, the fights, the hatred. I don't know why it happened."  
"In the past. Forget it. For now, you need to get well. They said you have to talk to the psychologist and a few other things. Most important you have to eat."  
"I don't think I can, Yuki. It's strange but I am afraid too."  
"Kyo, you aren't afraid of anything. Remember?"  
"I am now. What a thing to be afraid of huh? What is in these things?" He pointed at the bags hanging from the poles that had lines runing into his arms. Yuki shook his head. He couldn't answer his cousin. The 'nurse who wasn't there' chimed in.  
"That is a solution of water and sucrose. It is to replace some of your bodies missing sugar and there is an electrolyte solution in this one. Your body was replete in that also. As well as potassium and a few other minerals."  
"Thank you for supporting the image of you not being here so well."  
"Kyo, when did you become so antagonistic to strangers?" Yuki asked quietly. He had never heard Kyo use tones like that to adults and it was confusing to him.  
"Ever since I woke up to this crazy hospital dream and people keep making ridiculous suggestion and asking me stupid questions, like 'how doWE feel about seeing your cousin?' I hate that." Yuki laughed at the way Kyo imitated the doctor. And Kyo smiled back at him.  
"Ah, don't worry Yuki, when I wake up you'll be free of this dream and then things will be just fine."  
"Only one problem with that Kyo. This isn't a dream."


	7. Hospital life

If it wasn't a dream, why did it feel like a nightmare? Kyo's days were filled with people asking him those annoying questions, and one's he had no answers to. People constantly trying to coax food into him, bags with fluids he didn't trust being attached to tubes running into his arms. Visitors looking at him in an irritating way, like they are afraid to say things to hurt him and he might break from the slightest touch. Kagura with her personal greif over the fact that he had refused to marry her when Akito had offered. Haru taking offense at everything anyone said to him. He was feeling some form of guilt and it had him on the verge of going black at every turn.  
Shigure was acting oddly quiet, as if he couldn't think of anything funny or perverted in these circumstances, so had no comment on the ready. Tohru looked near to tears. She was afraid to loose another loved one to death and couldn't even come up with a silver lining for Kyo. And that made her even more sad. Nothing her mother had said in her life covered this situation. Momiji had stopped bouncing and just stared at him. Ayame was non existent, Yuki had said that his brother didn't deal well with illness. But, it was just another case of his letting down someone who needed all the support, however annoying, he could give. Kisa and Hiro were not allowed to visit but had called him on the phone, wishing him the best and a speedy recovery(Kisa) and telling him to stop wasting the families time and upsetting Kisa(Hiro). Hatori was his usual clinical self, acting similar to the various other hospital personnel and more interested in his physical being, but still dropping a comment about Kyo needing to think about his actions and how they affected the people who cared about him. The one thing that Hatori had done for Kyo that was greatly appreciated, was to restrict Akito from visiting due to ill health of the Sohma family head. Yuki came daily and brought Kyo his art supplies. He had salvaged the pictures from the desk in Kyo's temporary home, before Akito had the place cleaned and everything thrown away. Kyo allowed him to help organize the pictures in his own special fashion. Explaining to the rat as he did why they had been changed from the way Yuki recalled the events. It was merely as case of perspective, the cat explained, they saw things from a different angle and so saw them in a different way. Yuki only nodded, not willing to call the boy stupid, and accepting the explanation on face value.  
His nights were constantly interupted by nurses checking his vital signs and making general nuisances of themselves. He missed the long lingering sleeps he had been privileged with prior and was now haunted in what sleeping times he was allowed with dreams that consisted of himself held down while food was pressed into his mouth until he choked and his clothes pulled tightly around a body round and puffy from overeating and stuffing himself. He was not afraid to die, but was clearly not ready to be turned into a butterball by his overzealous relatives.  
  
To add to all that, today he met the hospital psychologist for the first time. The man sat in his room with a pen and a pad and his glasses balanced on the end of his extremely long nose. His suit was pressed and his socks matched and he was primly decorated with a very bad toupe. He asked Kyo things like, How do you think we can help you? and What do you think our next move should be? Kyo was about to ask him how he slept with himself if he didn't have any answers to questions like that. He knew the antagonistic approach would just get him in deeper but the man was driving him even more crazy. He had to be careful when telling Neko about the man, he knew that this invisible conversationalist would not be understood by the man.  
  
Neko had been strangely silent these days, too. Making an occasional comment only when Yuki was in the room with Kyo. Neko did not trust most of the people suddenly around Kyo, but since he had gotten his name from Yuki, felt he was safe enough. Yuki mostly ignored the voice and directed his answers at Kyo, who wondered if the rat couldn't hear Neko. The 'nurse who wasn't there' heard the comments though and always had something to say about it.  
  
"Why do you talk to yourself, you really are crazy aren't you?"  
  
"Kyo isn't crazy, and I thought you weren't here. Kyo, I'm sorry what were you saying, Tohru brought you something today?" Yuki came to his rescue.  
  
"Yes, she dragged some more riceballs in here. How is anyone supposed to eat that many riceballs? What does she want me to do? I feel bad about making her look so sad, too." Kyo responded.  
"Kyo, tell him about what Haru told you this morning." Neko added.  
"I know, I was just getting to that. Haru said that Akito was going to come see me this Friday. I don't want to see him, what should I do?"Kyo finished.  
  
"I'll talk to Hatori for you, he can possibly keep Akito away for awhile longer. Would that help?" His cousin asked.  
  
"I guess I can't put it off forever, can I?" Kyo looked a little down now.  
  
"Probably not. Akito is the head of the family. But, at least for now, no one can be here alone with you." Yuki gestured to that certain 'empty spot' making notes on the chart at the foot of Kyo's bed. She looked up at him, dumbfounded. Kyo smirked at her. She growled at him.  
  
"Would you stay here with me when he comes? It would make Neko feel better." This was the first time Kyo had mentioned the other voice to his cousin. His fear that Yuki would leave him alone with Akito outweighing his hesitancy to admit to the irrational behavior.  
  
"It would be a good idea I suppose. I am not excited about being alone with Akito either, but I would understand you wanting someone to support you. I'll talk to Hatori, he would know best." Yuki smiled then, "And we must cater to the baka Neko, musn't we?"  
  
Kyo looked up questioningly. Had Yuki just made a joke? Kyo couldn't remember his cousin ever joking with him, before. And he gave credence to Neko, without making Kyo feel awkward about it at the same time. His cousin surprised him. Kyo slowly forced a smile in response. He wasn't sure what to do. Yuki had been treating him differently, almost like a friend. He hadn't realized it until now. He had just been treating the rat like he was in his dream and not really thought about the discrepancies until now. Yuki rose from his chair and reached out his hand. Kyo instinctively jumped back from the contact.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I was just going to tell you I have to leave. You were kinda spaced out for a second." Kyo stared at him and nodded softly.  
  
"Eh, okay. See you tomorrow." he said automatically. Yuki smiled and walked to the door.  
  
"Anything you want me to bring?" Kyo shook his head and Yuki left. Why had he just assumed that Yuki would come tomorrow. Why did he want to see his cousin again? He hadn't said anything to anyone else about them returning. No, it wasn't an accident. Kyo wanted Yuki to return, needed that consistency. The nurse pulled his hand into her arm, and strapped a band around it. He ignored her as she pumped the cuff full of air and raised her watch. She was not one to leave him alone and decided to interject her comments here.  
  
"I don't understand why that boy comes here. He isn't helping you any. He doesn't even seem to care that you aren't eating anymore than you did." She jerked the cuff off, redid the straps that held him to the bed, and proceeded to replace one of the bags from the hook in the corner. Kyo stared at the door and imagined his cousin making progress out of the many halls and doors. Why did Yuki come to see him? He never pressed Kyo about eating like the others. He never looked at him like he was some kind of a monster. Yuki had even seen his true form, and never looked away. Kyo closed his eyes and leaned back against the pillows. Life was too confusing for the cat. He drifted off into a shallow dream filled sleep.


	8. Nightmare!

_The wind blew gently across the roof top. Kyo sat alone and scanned the horizon. Soft clouds slowly drifted by to mingle and merge along the way. Kyo breathed in the gentle smell of pine and sycamore. A voice cut through the peace. "I will have you back, Neko. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts." And suddenly Kyo found himself seated in a long hall before a table that stretched for at least forty feet and was filled to overflowing with food. All around him voices encouraged. _

_"You must get well, then we can all go for walks and spend time together." _

_"You are far to skinny, now how can you attract high school girls with that belly top." _

_"Don't you want to be well and then we could get married." _

_"Stop upsetting your cousins and eat something." _

_"Most patients suffering from anorexia have been found dead within 8 months of release if left unattended and on their own." _

_"Have some thing to eat, or do I have to force it down your throat." _

_"Kyo, could you eat please, oniichan is very upset." _

_"Yes, Neko. Do eat and get well soon, then you can come home to your nice little room with the wonderful view of the gardens." _

_The walls disolved and Kyo found himself sitting at his desk in the closed off cell. Before him was a tray laden with wilted vegetables, spoiled milk and there in the center of the meal. **A large fat roasted rat**_.  
  
Kyo woke screaming. The night nurse came in the room in answer to the loud wailing coming from his patient, followed by the guard from the door. When the lights came on Kyo's screams became frantic and berserk. If not for the tethers on his arms, the IV's would have been lost in his thrashing about. By the time the nurse and guard had restrained him, the bedding was all but lost on the floor and Kyo was covered with a layer of sweat. Still he called out and fought the arms that held him.  
More of the hospital staff responded to the commotion and the decision was made by the doctor on call to sedate the boy. An injection was prepared and soon Kyo was feeling the effects of the drug. He calmed down and drifted into a not quite unconscious state. The room quieted and the staff departed. The nurse in charge of his care overnight, a local boy named Nijan, remained to watch over him. The guard made a comment about how his shift was over and his replacement should be here soon. He asked Nijan if he would like a cup of coffee, since he was headed to the machine. The nurse nodded not taking his eyes off the boy. Once alone, Nijan repaired the ruined bed and tucked the thin boy into his covers. He hated working on cases like this one. Abuse and neglect, especially of oneself. Soon the guard was returning with two styrofoam cups. He stood with Nijan and gazed at the semi conscious boy. He tsked at the uproar that had come about because of this frail youth.  
"You know he was calling for his cousin to come and help him. Bet if the kid was here we wouldn't have had half that difficult a time with him. Those two must be the best of friends. The boy visits him everyday. Wonder what caused this one to be so messed up?" The guard mused. Nijan looked at the guard and then at the boy in the bed. As the guard left, he watched the features begin to relax and sat at the chair so conveniently placed near the wall. He pull the chair forward and leaned against the side of the bed. "Yuki." he said quietly. The boy turned toward him, searching for something. "Is that what you said, Yuki? Is that your cousin? I thought maybe you were dreaming about being lost in the snow. How silly of me, huh? Well, you just sleep now, okay? I'm sure Yuki will be here when visiting hours begin." He rose from the chair and crossed to the chart at the foot of the bed. He felt the eyes of the patient follow him and when he looked up, an intense gaze met his eyes. Then the eyes glazed over and closed to a drug induced sleep. Nijan sighed and made note of the medication and reaction on the chart and placed it back in it's slot, before leaving the room.


	9. Preparing for a visit

Friday dawned clear and bright. The nurse had drawn back the curtain to let in the daylight. She had heard that the very prominent head of the Sohma family was to be visiting her patient today and she wanted to make a good impression. Now if only the sullen and cranky boy would behave. And that other one. The grey haired youth with the far too pretty face, that always made her feel gross and inadaquate. If only he wouldn't show up. She didn't like it when her hospital was not running smoothly and that boy always made it seem to be haphazard and unsystematic. He had made comments about the way the food brought to the room was not surprisingly unappealing and no wonder the boy wouldn't eat it. Doting on some young girl being such a good cook that they were spoiled by her food.  
  
Spoiled was right, but she was certain that boy was spoiled in many ways. He was obviously rich, and had been raised in a family of breeding. She could tell by the way he held himself and the clothes he wore. But to flount it about like that, well it just angered her so. He was well educated, that she was sure. Obviously sent to the best schools his family could afford. She herself had worked her way through high school and nurses training. It was no wonder she didn't trust him. Who could trust someone who had never had to work for his experiences. Someone who had never once suffered.  
  
She wisked her way through her morning ritual of vital signs and chart updates. Making note that the boy had once again been medicated in the night for waking and aggitating the entire ward. She shook her head at the still sleeping form, and said only loud enough for herself to hear. "I can certainly see how you would be a handful but you are going to behave for the Sohma head today, aren't you?"

"I am sure he will, but I would rather you didn't remind him of the visit just yet. He has been unsettled enough this week." THAT boy stated from behind her, surprising her and causing her to drop the clipboard containing the charts. "And why is he still asleep? Kyo is not known to sleep in."  
"Had another nightmare. Had to be sedated, again." And she crossed to the door to ask the guard to send for the doctor.  
"Sedated! How long has this been going on? Why do they do it? He's just scared. Can't they do anything without resorting to drugs?" The grey haired boy stood over the sleeping patient and gently smoothed his hair, tucking it behind his ear to clear his face. He reached for a tissue to dab at the drop of saliva that had leaked from the corner of the thin boys lips. It was like watching someone care for an infant and the nurse almost lost her prejudice for the teen. Then she shook herself and moved in to block the access in the geis of adjusting the straps on the bed and checking the IV bags where they were suspended. The orange haired teen began to rouse from the rough handling and blinked a few times before speaking.  
"Yuki?" The nurse moved away in a huff. If her patient insisted on greeting his cousin, she was under orders not to interfere. "Yuki, you did come early?"  
"I said I would. What is all this about nightmares?" The boy sounded concerned. The nurse wasn't convinced though.  
"You know the usual. Akito taking me home, people forcing food on me. You cooked and on a platter." The patient attempted to brush it off.  
"Was I fried or roasted. It makes a big difference, you know?" Yuki tried to make light of it in front of his audience, even sparing her a glance.  
"Roasted. No gravy. I hate that. What time is Akito supposed to get here?"  
"Around ten. Are you okay?"

"I guess. Hey, why don't you bug me about eating?"  
"You have enough people doing that. I guess I just figure there are other things to talk about. Especially after we wasted so many years fighting."  
"I get it. You wanna play cards?" The boys had been playing at several card games over the last few days, and each time the grey haired boy managed to lose. Only by a point or two, but he had only won once, and the nurse thought that was because the game ended early due to visiting hours being over. She assumed the boy was just very bad at cards. But her patient enjoyed the games, so who was she to complain. After he won, he actually ate some of his dinner, so that was an added bonus.


	10. Decifering the dream

Three men entered the hospital room and dismissed the nurse. Yuki looked up from the cards in his hands. The tallest man, Hoshiwara was Kyo's doctor. He was okay, but a little too unattentive in Yuki's opinion. The other tall man, Aziyago was one of the Interns on staff. He had been very helpful with Kyo's case, and had answered every question Yuki had put to him, to the best of his ability. Never brushing off the teen on the guise of being busy. The shortest man, Kimiura, was the hospital psychologist. Yuki didn't trust him. He had too many nervous wrinkles around his eyes and forehead. He never smiled and never gave a straight answer to a single question that Yuki had, nor did he give credence to the boy's concerns about his cousin.  
  
Yuki, being the closest of Kyo's cousins, was meeting with the man almost as often as Kyo was. So far, this had consisted of very difficult questions being asked about their relationships, home life and family. Yuki was very careful with his answers and assumed the doctor took this for evasion. Which it was, but not for any reason the doctor could come up with. Yuki stood to greet the men, and Kyo finally noticed their arrival. He was more upset that the card game would now be ended prematurely.  
  
"Hoshiwara Sensei, Kon'nichi wa. And Aziyago Sensei, how are you today? I bet you've been here all night. Kimiura Sensei, we are glad you could stop by." Yuki addressed the doctors for his sullen cousin. They both knew the men were here because Akito was coming. But, appearances must be kept up.  
  
"Ahh, Sohma-san, how is our patient today?" Hoshiwara asked, Kyo merely glared at the man. "I understand you've been having some rough nights. Bad dreams?"  
  
"Yes, tell me about these dreams." Kimiura asked.  
  
"Um, we were in the middle of a game, and I was winning." Kyo stalled.  
  
"In your dream?" Kimiura injected.  
  
"No, now." and Kyo pitifully held up his cards in his restrained hand. It was more difficult to play this way, but they still managed. The doctors smirked at him, as Aziyago pulled Yuki aside.  
  
"Yuki-san, could I have a word with you? If Kyo-san doesn't mind. " Kyo sighed and dropped the cards to his lap. He turned to the other doctors and began recounting his dream for them, as Yuki was dragged out with the Intern.  
  
"Kyo-san is very nervous about this visit today, ne? I gather the game is to calm him and make it feel like just another day, eh?" Yuki nodded at him.  
  
"I don't want him to dwell on it. The last time he got upset, he ended up throwing up what little he had eaten. What did you want to talk to me about?" He asked.  
  
"Oh, actually I promised to introduce you to someone. Come on he's waiting." They crossed a hall and entered a lounge area. There at a table holding a cup of coffee in his hands was a very tired looking japanese man in his mid twenties, wearing the usual white pants and smock, and white shoes. He looked up when they entered.  
When his eyes settled on the teen, a spark entered them. Yuki had seen this before, and was becoming wary. He crossed to the man and extended his hand.  
  
"I am Sohma Yuki, you wanted to meet me?" And the man smiled largely.  
  
"Yes, how do you do? I am Nijan Kano. I am your cousins overnight nurse." Yuki smiled. This man seemed to radiate caring and attention. The kind of person Kyo needed in his care.  
  
"You are? Tell me, why is my cousin being sedated on a nightly basis? How is it no one can deal with something as simple as a few nightmares?" The questions just flowed out of the boy, and he was becoming more aggitated as he continued. The nurse was backing away now and had raised his hands in his own defense. Yuki stopped when he realized he was wagging his finger in the man's face. "I'm sorry. I guess I get a little carried away when it comes to Kyo." His face was flushed with embarassment.  
  
"It's okay. I heard you two were close. I understand."  
  
"No, you don't. Kyo and I have never been close. That's why I am not taking any chances on losing him. I have to make it up to him." Nijan gestured to the chair across the table. Yuki sat and Aziyago pulled a chair from another table. Nijan sat back down.  
  
"What I wanted to ask is if you would be willing to try something to help us out. You see, the reason the doctors have had to resort to sedation, is that Kyo is beyond reason when he wakes from these dreams. I got the idea with the first bad one, when the guard who helped said that he would have been better if you had been there."  
  
"What do you want me to do?" He asked.  
  
"Come back tonight. Stay here and we will see if you actually help. He calls for you to help him and then when you aren't there is when he freaks. So, are you willing?"  
  
"What makes you think he will have a nightmare tonight?" the teen quipped.  
  
"He's had one every night so far. They just got worse over the last three days. I think it's because of this visit today. But, I still think they aren't going to stop just because the visit is over." He was looking at his coffee again.  
  
"I'll come. If you think I can help. Now, it is getting close to the time Akito will be here, I should go back to Kyo." and he rose and exited the room. 


	11. A visit to remember

Crossing the hall and returning to Kyo's room, he reflected on what Nijan had said. Kyo calls for his help. Kyo calls for him. Why? Voices in Kyo's room were raised and Kyo was on of them. Yuki rushed through the door. Kyo was straining against his restraints, as the doctor was preparing an injection. Yuki moved between the two. Kyo saw him and leaned back against the pillow. The doctor stopped and waited to see what the teen was up to.  
  
"Kyo! What's wrong? What happened while I was gone?" He was talking to Kyo, but looking at the doctors.  
  
"They started telling me I was having erotic dreams about you. I know what I dreamt, it scared me to death. But it was not erotic."  
  
"The simbolism of your cousin being served to you on a silver platter has definite sexual connotations. . . "  
  
"WHAT? I think you are a little off your mark, Sensei." Kyo calmed visibly as Yuki dealt with his doctors.  
  
"And he calls for you when he wakes up." The psychologist crossed his arm in his superior way, thinking he had made an irrifutable point. Yuki narrowed his eyes, and turned to the man.  
  
"Probably because I am the only person he know who is trying to help him, not force him to do what makes him uncomfortable, and he trusts me. But that doesn't mean that he wants me. It isn't the only thing people think about you know."  
  
"It is a highly motivating emotion. It would explain his desire to hurt himself. You, yourself admitted that you never got along before. Now, how is it he only eats a reasonable amount after you visit him?" Yuki was beginning to lose patience with the man. Kyo didn't need this just before the traumatic visit from Akito.  
  
"You know, I am still in the room." Kyo injected. Yuki turned, upon seeing the expression on Kyo's face, he broke into laughter. Kyo smirked at him, huffed at the doctor and added. "I don't think about Yuki that way. I DO think about that, though. I used to fantasize about Kagura. Only I figured it wouldn't do any good to tell anyone. She would have just done major damage to me, and I knew we would never be together, anyway." He looked up at the ceiling. "And when Tohru came, I just figured Yuki would get her anyway, so made sure never to think of her that way. So, if we are all done disecting my sexuality, I believe I have a visitor coming, and I would rather not have to discuss this in front of Akito."  
  
"Kagura, huh? I wondered if she ever got through your thick skull. As often as she bashed it into things." Yuki took to some good natured teasing. Kyo gave him a half hearted glare.  
  
"Imagine if we ever tried anything, I doubt if I would live through that." and the boys began to laugh, together.  
  
"Wait, Sohma Kagura. I know which one that is. The shorter dark haired girl with the cat backpack. She decked Nurse Yamamoto. Said that the nurse wasn't gentle enough with Kyo. We had to send her away, and restrict her visits. The nurse needed stitches on her forehead." Aziyago stated.  
  
"Yes, that would be Kagura. She Loves Kyo, enough to inflict major damage to anyone who comes between them. Especially Kyo." Yuki explained.  
  
"Who do I have to thank for keeping her away?" Kyo glanced around the room. The other doctors seemed at a loss about the whole incident. Aziyago slowly raised his hand. The older doctors chose that moment to make their escape.  
  
"I thought it safer for the whole hospital. You know, Kyo-san, the psychologist is only trying to help you. Even if he is looking for an easy solution. Cut him some slack okay?" The man looked hopeful.  
  
"Fine, next time he comes around, I'll describe my deepest fantasy to him. The one where I catch Kagura in heat." His smile was wicked. "Hope I can think this one up fast enough." Yuki scowled at him and began cleaning up the cards which had become scattered during the doctor's visit.  
  
"Make it good, or they will never believe it. Do you want me to help?" Kyo frowned at the suggestion.  
  
"I think I can do this myself, cousin. But, I'll take it into consideration." A small comotion out the door caught their attention and the doctors returned flanking the much acclaimed head of the Sohma clan. Akito, dressed in the usual outdoor garb of clingy black pants and a dark brown turtleneck, gazed around the room at the various pieces of medical equipment surrounding Kyo. The doctor was going on about state of the art therapies and techniques. The psychologist filling in the lastest strides he had made in breaking through the boys reservations about food. Akito nodded at them and finally locking eyes on Kyo, stopped them with a wave of one long fingered hand. The doctors, both, froze at the obvious command. Akito crossed the room to Kyo's bedside, sparing a glance in Yuki's direction. The two teens had forgotten to breath for a moment and took a deep one almost simultaneously as Akito smiled in a most hostile manner.  
  
"Yuki, you are here? I hadn't expected this. Ah! Kyo(the name came out almost as an insult) you have certainly gathered a lot of attention on yourself. Was this your objective?"Akito looked up to grant a pleasant smile to Aziyago before continuing "Are you quite finished with this foolishness? It is well past time for you to return home." Aziyago came forward. He was not fooled by the actions of this person. He saw the inflections, and obvious animosity.  
  
"The boy is in seriously poor health. He has to remain until we can bring his vital signs to a health norm, then we will require proof that he is going to continue to care for himself. He is under a suicide watch currently and there is an ongoing investigation of abuse." Akito turned on the man, and with a glare that would have sent Yuki to his knees, measured up this interloper who dared to speak so to someone of Akito's station.  
  
"WHO ARE YOU?"The outburst though no surprise to the teens, was a complete shock to Aziyago. He sputtered his name and position, the other doctor affirming it,  
  
"And you presume to tell me what is best for a member of my family? You aren't even a real doctor. Clear this room so that I may speak with my 'cousin' without any further interuptions." The order stood in the air and Yuki looked to Aziyago for assistance. The man finally regained his composure and stated.  
  
"The hospital regulations forbid patients under suicide watch to be left unsupervised. I shall be happy to stay and watch, without interfereing with the visit." Akito glared once more, then brushed the man off without a further thought. The other hospital personnel filtered through the door. Kyo, still strapped to the bed, became wary of the sudden silence. Akito came closer and leaned into the boys space.  
  
"You have not beaten me, Neko. I shall have you back, in your little room and under my personal care." Yuki placed a hand upon his cousins shoulder to remind him of the continued presence. Akito, not one to miss anything, saw the gesture and looked up at the grey haired teen. "And Yuki, my little nezumi, you too should think about moving back to the main house. I have missed you far too much, and I wouldn't want to risk your becoming ill in this way. Obviously Shigure doesn't know how to raise boys who can properly care for themselves. You are far too thin yourself."  
  
"I have always been thin, Akito. I don't think it compares though." Akito turned to him and stared him down. Yuki's heart fluttered and his eyes gave truth to his fear, but this time, he didn't back down. "Kyo needs to be here." A minute more and the Sohma family head looked away in disgust.  
  
"I refuse to care for someone who won't even try to live. Let him die, if he wants it so much. I wash my hands of him." And with that said, Akito crossed the room and departed. Kyo watched Akito's back and as the door closed, the orange haired boy passed out. Yuki felt the difference immediately.  
  
"Kyo? Kyo? Aziyago-san!" The intern crossed to them quickly and began to check the boy over. "What happened? What is it?" Yuki asked, panic just on the edge.  
  
"It's okay, probably just stress and the lack of sleep. Hold this under his nose." and he handed Yuki a small capsule. The boy complied and soon Kyo was rousing.  
  
"Hey, it's over. Akito is gone. Are you okay?" He orange haired youth sneezed lightly at the smelling salts and Yuki jumped back.  
  
"There are times when I really need my hands." he said in apology as Yuki reached for a tissue. "Did Akito really say that? What did it mean?"  
  
"I don't know. I'll ask Hatori later. How are you feeling?" Kyo was attempting to sit up with the help of the intern and he shook his head.  
  
"I feel okay. Kinda freaked me out, you know?"  
  
"Don't feel bad, it freaked me out, too. How do you stand that guy?" Kyo and Yuki both turned to Aziyago.  
  
"You can't begin to imagine." Kyo retorted. Yuki laughed. 


	12. Night terrors

Sorry for the delay in updating. I got a little case of writers block. I never had that before, it's scary. Thanks to my new friend from another fan fic site, I got some great advise and she saved the day. Now on with the story.

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The healing process was slow. Kyo had to endure days and weeks of doctors, nurses and psychologists. They all wanted to find the key to his illness. They all wanted to find a quick cure, knowing full well that Kyo's problems stemmed deep. But time was of essence.  
  
Family was no better. Daily visits from this cousin or that were merely distracting and stressful on their patient. They even gave a thought to restricting these visits, with one exception.  
  
Yuki. The boy came to the hospital on a daily basis. Each time Kyo was in a better mood afterwards, and would actually consume food. Yuki never asked his cousin to. Yuki never even mentioned Kyo's eating habits. Yuki told Kyo about his schooling, as he started college. He told Kyo about the friends they had who would not be allowed to visit, but had expressed their sincere hopes that his health would improve.  
  
The boy had also helped with the problem of the night terrors. The evening after the visit from the family head, Yuki had left at noon only to return just after visiting hour were over. He sat in the nurses lounge with Nijan waiting for the inevitable. Like clockwork, the screams were heard and the two raced to Kyo's room. The orange haired boy sat up and strained against the ties that bound his hands to the bedrails. Nijan rushed over to check on the IV's and once determining that they were intact he looked up at Yuki. They had agreed to attempt to calm Kyo without the use of drugs, and it was time to get started. Kyo, being ever helpful, had begun calling out the other boys name. Yuki took hold of his cousin and forced his face to focus on himself.  
  
"Kyo! I am right here! Look at me!"  
"No! Yuki help me! I can't . . . . "  
"Kyo. Stop, it's okay. Look at me, Kyo. I'm here, and I'm going to help you."  
"I can't, I can't, I . . . .Yuki?"  
"Yes, baka. It's me."  
"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to hear about your nightmare, before you can digest it down to less than 7 words." Yuki pulled the chair up and sat, Kyo looked at him oddly before beginning his story. His breathing was a little erratic and he was currently sweating across the bridge of his nose and his forehead. Yuki pulled out a tissue and wiped the beads of perspiration away.  
"Okay, fine. I was sitting in a garden. There was like, this big monument and I was looking at it. It was a real big, fat cat. And he starts to talk to me. He says like, "Hey, Kyo what ya doing sitting there. You should be out hunting like everybody else." I told him, I don't hunt. And he says, "Hey, that's okay. I got something for you, look here." And then he lifts up this rock and under it is this . . . . uh," He hesitated and leaned forward gesturing for Yuki to do the same, then whispering to him. "dead rat. He is like squished. Totally flat." Yuki winced and leaned back again.  
"Is that when you started yelling?" Kyo shook his head vehemently. "Nah, I seen enough of that lately, it don't shock me so much. But he says to me, 'You need to keep up your strength and this is high in protein. Eat it.' I start shaking my head and saying 'no, no, I can't' but he starts chasing me and holding it up by it's tail waving it at me. I just keep running and running, and yelling 'I can't' and he says he is Neko and that you would want me to. Cause you want me to eat." Kyo had begun shaking and Yuki stood up and put a hand on his shoulder. "You wouldn't do that. Not to a rat, would you? He said you killed it for me. And that you wanted me to eat it." Tears made their way down Kyo's cheeks and Yuki put a new tissue to his eyes.  
"Kyo. No I wouldn't. Not to a rat, and not to YOU. Do you understand. I want you to do what makes you happy. And I know that wouldn't make you happy."  
Kyo stared at his cousin. Thought processes a little slow at this time of night. Yuki said he wants you to be happy. Why? Ask him.  
"Why? Why Yuki?"  
"Why? Because I care about you, baka." Kyo only blinked at that. He had to process this, it confused him. Yuki hated him, not cared about him. When did things change?

"You do?" Kyo was trying to say something, but his mind was numb, and the dream was fading now. He leaned back and let his eyes slide closed. Breathing became easier, and slowed to a calming rhythm. Kyo was asleep. Yuki dropped the tissues into the waistebasket and adjusted the covers over his cousin. He turned to see Nijan looking at him oddly.  
"What's all that stuff about cats and rats? He seems obsessed."  
"He and I are just into animals. No big deal."


	13. Hatori's disclosure

Hatori sat in the hospital cafeteria. He slowly sipped at the cup of tea before him. Haru and Kagura sat at the table watching him. Waiting. He had told them no more than the fact that he had an important announcement for them. They waited for the others in silence.  
  
Yuki entered with Momiji at his heels, and Ayame next to him chattering away. The snake had come mostly to bother Yuki, as he would not enter Kyo's room. He made the excuse that he would simply upset Kyo more and didn't want that. Yuki knew better. His brother didn't know what to do for the cat, and was not happy in any environment that he couldn't control.  
  
The three crossed the room to sit at the table with their family. Hatori turned his gaze on Ayame and the snake quieted immediately. Yuki wished his cousin could bottle that glare so He could use it sometimes.  
  
"Okay, we are all here, so what is this big announcement, Hatori?" Haru spoke up.  
  
"Akito has informed the hospital that the family will no longer be responsible for Kyo's bills." Hatori said plainly.  
  
"How could this be?" Momiji said quietly.  
  
"Who will pay the bills, for my poor Kyo-kun?" Kagura lamented.  
  
"I don't know. Akito has made it clear that no one in the family is to help the cat." Hatori sighed. He knew what this would do. He knew that he could not help Kyo. He had no outside patients. His livelihood was dependent upon the good will of the family head.  
  
"He is adrift. That is what Akito meant by 'washing his hands of him' right Hatori? Kyo is on his own." Yuki sighed looking around at the faces of his family.  
  
"Yes." was all Hatori could say.  
  
"I don't understand. How can Kyo stay here if no one will pay his bill?" Haru asked.  
  
"The hospital will probably have him transfered to a less expensive ward and then when he is released he will have to pay the bill. Also, Shigure can not take him in."  
  
"What?" was the common question.  
  
"His last few books have not sold very well. Shigure is currently quite dependent upon family funds. He will not risk this by inviting Kyo to return."  
  
"I see. If there isn't anything else?" Yuki stood and prepared to leave this meeting. "I was just about to go visit Kyo." Hatori shook his head.  
  
"That is all. The hospital is giving Kyo one more week in that room before he is moved. I would suggest we don't trouble him with all this, just yet. It would be detrimental to his recovery. And he needs to recover as fast as he can, now." And with that Yuki left. He had plans of his own, and they didn't include family. At least not these members. 


	14. Yuki's plan

"Kyo, I am not supposed to tell you this. But, I think you should know, especially since I won't be able to visit as often." Yuki was upset, and Kyo laid his cards on the covers.  
He had finally been released from those awful restraints and could now move about the bed more freely. He leaned over to see his cousin better. The doctors had told him that the difficulty he had seeing was a result of poor nutrition. He was annoyed that they attributed everything to that.  
  
"What is it, Yuki?" He had not seen his cousin look so upset in sometime.  
  
"Remember what Akito said when he left here?" Kyo nodded his head. Of course he remembered. He couldn't get the sense of foreboding it had caused out of his head. Akito was not one to make empty threats, and that had all the earmarkings of a threat.  
  
"You found out what he meant?" Yuki nodded back. How to do this? He had to step carefully, and not send his cousin into relapse. Kyo had been improving. He had gained some weight and was just starting to open up to him.  
  
"Yes. Akito has cut the funding for your hospital stay. And has made sure that you have no where to go when you do get well." Kyo's mouth dropped open. He looked like he was trying to put words together and just couldn't get the sounds out. Kyo understood. He understood perfectly.  
  
"That means that you will have to find someplace to live and get a job to pay back the bill. It sounds worse than it is." He tried to sound hopeful for his cousins sake.  
  
"Yeah, pretty bad. I don't know how to do anything that will get me a job." Kyo sank back onto the pillows.  
  
"I have an idea." Kyo turned to his cousin, the look of hope just budding in the depths of his eyes. Yuki took a deep breath and continued. "I have a job. It is nothing great, just working with the college grounds keeper, but it means money outside of the family. Haru told me yesterday that he was working, also. We will make arrangements to pay the bill, but it will be hard. Don't worry, okay?"  
  
Kyo was shocked. His cousins were not only offering to use their personal time to help him, they were going against the family head, Akito. It took only a minute for the magnitude of this to actually come to him. "Why?" was all he could come up with.  
  
"It is the right thing to do. I am looking for someplace to live. I am afraid if we go through with this, I am going to have to cut ties with the family, also. Akito will not allow me to help you and continue as I have. Again, don't worry. I am not afraid of Akito, and I want to do this. You have to concentrate on getting well. I talked to the hospital staff and they said you can stay in this room. It will cost more, but you need it. Are you okay with this?"  
  
Kyo was now totally confused. His cousin was asking him if he minded the help that was offered. Why did Yuki want to help him, and why did it matter how he felt about it?  
He processed this as quickly as he could, he looked around the room and realized just how expensive it probably was. His things, though few, were scattered about and his eyes came to rest on the sketch pad he had finally been able to use now that his arms were free. He reached for the unfinished drawing and let his fingers trace the lines and smudges on the paper. It was a drawing of his night nurse, Nijan. The man had learned that if he got there early and talked to Kyo for awhile before he went to sleep that the dreams that peppered Kyo's nights were less severe. He had become a friend. Kyo would not have his services without the private room.  
  
"It is too much. I can still get better in another room. You shouldn't have to pay for this. Any of it. I can do something, I think." Kyo would make this sacrifice, he had to.  
Yuki watched him finger the picture. Nijan had become an important part of Kyo's recovery. It was him that had caused Yuki to try to keep Kyo here. Kyo needed the man to get well, and Yuki would be willing to pay for that. No matter how difficult it would be. Yuki wanted Kyo to understand that he didn't need to make anymore concessions.  
They would manage.  
  
"NO. I want you to have this. You need it and without it you won't be able to get well as soon, then the bill would just be for as much, in length. This is better. Okay?"  
Kyo looked up and seeing the determination in his cousins eyes, he merely nodded. "The problem is, I won't be able to come as early, cause I have to work in the mornings.  
I can still be here at ten and stay for lunch and then I don't have classes until around two. So we could spend some time together, Haru will come in the evenings. He works after school just a few blocks from here. He said he will have dinner with you. I told him not to harrass you about eating, and he agreed. How does that sound?"  
  
Kyo looked at his hands a moment, then at the scattered things on his bed. "You will still visit me? Even though you have to work, and go to school. I just don't know what to say."  
  
"Just say, that you will beat me at cards everytime I come to visit, then I'll know that I'm really talking to Kyo." The cat smiled and nodded.  
  
"You really suck at this game, too." 


	15. A Place to live

Actually the job at the college gave Yuki some time to think while working with the plants he so enjoyed. He had as yet been unable to find an apartment that he could afford. Haru's part time job was only for a couple of hours a day, and that did little to ease the burden of the sizable hospital account. Akito had made sure that it was, too.  
The bill was a full month overdue before the Sohma family leader had informed the administration of the unwillingness to pay. Yuki had managed to set up a payment schedule that he could just keep up with, but that left little for the rat to put towards living expenses. He was becoming concerned that there was no way that he and his cousin could ever make it with him attending college and working part time. He was about to drop his classes and go full time when two important events happened.  
  
Kagura met him at the hospital two weeks after Hatori had informed them of Akito's decision. She was very excited and speaking too rapidly for him to process her words.  
Yuki finally had to take her to the cafeteria and get her a cup of tea. Once he had her calmed, she began again.  
  
"I am going to help. I got a job and as long as I don't give you all that I make, no one will find out. So, I am going to help My Kyo." Yuki was amazed. Kagura had never once mentioned that she was even looking for a job. Now, suddenly she had one and a plan to go with it. It was a major improvement in the way things were going.  
Haru was just coming from Kyo's room where he had stayed while the cat ate his dinner. Kagura raced over when he entered the cafeteria and once again went through the speed version of her story. Haru however, got it the first time.  
  
"Hey, that's wonderful. I'll bet that Yuki will be able to get an apartment now. What do you think, Yuki?" Yuki smiled hopefully at the cow and the boar. He still thought that the money wouldn't be enough, but didn't want to upset his cousins.  
  
"What's this about apartment hunting?" a voice called from the cafeteria doorway. Nijan was just arriving for his shift and had heard the last of the conversation.  
  
"Yuki and Kyo will need a place to live when he gets out of here. The family has cut Kyo off, and he has no where to go. Plus we are all working to help pay his bill here." Haru supplied. Nijan turned to Yuki.  
  
"Is that true? I thought you were going to school?" Nijan asked, Yuki sighed.  
  
"I am, and I have been considering dropping out. I need to help Kyo, and I just can't make enough working part time. So, I may have to quit school." Nijan motioned a nearby table and the three Sohma's crossed to sit. The nurse was contemplating something and they watched his brows knit for a few minutes.  
  
"I was just talking to Kyo. He didn't say anything to me about all this, or I would have suggested something sooner. How about you move in with me? I have a big place. My last roommate got married and moved into a new place, so now I live alone. I could use some help with stuff."  
  
"I can't pay much. I only work part time, right now."  
  
"Oh, no. I don't mean the rent as much as I hate to have to clean. If you could do that, what ever you can afford would be fine. And no dropping out of school, understand?"  
  
"Hai. I have to go tell Kyo! He'll be thrilled I just know it." And Yuki left them to make his way to his cousins room. This would work very well. He could get Kyo out, and having a nurse around would be a great relief with Kyo's health issues. He was on an emotional high, and hoped Kyo's mood was good.  
  
Yuki opened the door, to find Kyo in the bathroom. The sound that reached his ears gave proof to the fact that Kyo's mood was less than good. Kyo was throwing up. 


	16. Kitten

The psychologist was less than reassuring. Yuki sat in the large overstuffed chair in the man's office and listened to him spout rhetoric about Kyo's case. Yuki had figured out by now that the man didn't have the slightest idea what was causing Kyo to purge.  
  
Yuki had finally gotten the boy to eat, and now the baka was throwing it up almost as fast as he was putting it in. It was so disheartening for his cousin. How would he ever get out of the hospital if he kept this up, and even after Yuki had told him about the apartment and Kagura's job, it continued. He had even resorted to talking to 'Neko' about this, and getting Kyo to accept that he was talking to the alternate personality without him was a headache in the making.  
  
Neko, he found, held all the answers to the feelings and desires of the orange haired boy, but was very obstinant and distrustful of his intent. At best, Kyo accepted his help without arguement, though Yuki knew that he was just waiting to find out what the catch was. Neko wouldn't even give him that much. He didn't trust anything Yuki offered.  
  
All he could figure at this point was that Kyo felt hopeless. He needed to know that there was a chance. That things would eventually work out.  
  
Yuki got through in a small way when, in a flash of brilliance, he smuggled a small kitten into the hospital to visit his cousin.  
  
Kyo was reading something, it looked like manga, when the nezumi slipped silently into the room. The hospital had stopped requiring that the nurse or someone be present when Kyo had visitors, and now the visits could be more personal. He was wearing a suit with a jacket and held his burden under the lapel. It squirmed near his heart and was trying to climb up his shoulder. Kyo looked up and eyed him suspiciously. Yuki grinned and crossed to him, to pull it out from under the jacket and allow it to cross the blanket to Kyo.  
  
The effect was instantaneous. Kyo's eyes lit up and an easy grin filled his face. He looked up as the small black feline reached him and allowed itself to be lifted in a caress. Yuki smiled at him. The Kitten had begun to purr, and Yuki was surprised it couldn't be felt in other rooms. He had never heard a cat purr that loudly, well quite honestly he had never heard an actual cat purr. They weren't exactly on his list of favorite animals to play with, even as a child.  
  
"Where did you get this?" Kyo asked as he held the small ball of fur to his cheek.  
  
"I have a friend at school and when I told her how much you like cats, she brought it for you. Her cat had them a couple of months ago. Do you like it?" Yuki was hopeful.  
  
"IT is a HE. And yes I like him. What is his name?" Kyo informed and asked.  
  
"I guess that's what I like about HIM the best. His name is 'Hopeful'. She said that he was the runt and she named him that because she was hopeful that he would live. He wouldn't nurse and she had to hand feed him." The girl actually had been entrusted by Yuki with all the details of his cousins infirmity. This was how she had come to think of the kitten as a possible pet for him.  
  
"This was a runt? She must have overfed him. He's huge for two months." Kyo was examining the cat all over and measuring him up.  
  
"She says he more than makes up for it now. But, he is the perfect size. All of the kittens are this size now. She wants you to have him. Do you want him?" Yuki asked.  
  
"Mine? I never had just one cat before. Not one of my own. It's a lot of work you know? I could do it though. But, I can't have a cat in here." Kyo started to sound a little down about it. Then it happened.  
  
"I guess we have to get out, eh Kyo?"  
"Get out, Neko?"  
"Yes, you know what that means don't you?"  
"Yes, Neko."  
"He needs us, Kyo. He needs us to get out."  
"I know."  
"You. Rat. Will you take care of Hopeful for us until we get out?"  
  
"Yes, Neko. Of course, I will. I'll help anyway I can. What else can I do?"  
  
"Kyo needs to see your progress. He needs to know that things are as you say, outside. Show him that. It will help. I will do what I can." Yuki smiled. Talking to Kyo like he was not here, and talking to some one who was a caretaker of his cousins body was strange. But, so was his cousin after all. Neko seemed to be the self preservation part of Kyo. Neko wanted Kyo to improve, but didn't trust those who took care of him. And Yuki had been part of the family that had allowed his imprisonment in the first place, why would Neko trust him?  
  
"I'll do what I can. Make sure he knows that We are all out for his best. We all want him to get well." The orange head just nodded as he handed the kitten to Yuki.

Hopeful was not happy to be removed from the hands of his new owner. The kitten clawed at Yuki painlessly and attempted to squirm free. "Just like you Kyo, stubborn and feisty."


	17. Snake in the grass

Kyo was feeling odd. Everytime he felt this way, things had gone wrong. The first time was the day that Akito had offered him that stupid deal. The next time was the day Shishou had taken his beads. Next was graduation, when he had been moved to the main house. And last was the day that he had given Yuki that picture. And look where that had landed him. Today he was to meet with the psychologist. He had gained some weight, (he felt like a blimp) and they were thinking about letting him out on a trial basis. Yuki had moved in with Nijan and at least five of his cousins were helping him with his hospital bills. Shigure had stopped coming to visit him, he figured it was because he was under pressure from Akito. Kyo could handle that, he only missed the stupid dog a little. Hatori had given him a complete check up, mainly to see to the condition of the stupid beads. Haru had been over for breakfast, it was not a school day.

A commotion in the hall caught his attention. A familiar voice saying his name. Oh no!   
The door burst open and Kyo was faced with the smiling visage of Sohma Ayame.   
"Kyonkichi-kun, I am here."   
"Great. Now leave." Kyo turned away from the snake, "Before you ruin my appetite."   
"Ah, ah, ah. I hear that you will be leaving today."   
"You came all the way here to tell me that, big news."   
"I came to see how you have improved."   
"You didn't even come see me when I came here, how would you know if I had improved. Where have you been, anyway?"   
"What is going on in here?" Yuki came through the doors, and spied his brother hovering over Kyo. This would not go well, Kyo and his brother had never gotten along before and what was he doing here now. Yuki didn't trust this.   
"Ahhh, Yuki-kun. I have missed our time together. What have you been up to?" Ayame having worked his way over to the part of the room Yuki occupied, left Kyo to rise from where he had been hiding under his covers. "I have been busy. I go to school, and work, you know that. What are you here for, really?"   
"How could you doubt my reasons. I am wounded, dear little brother."   
"That's it, come on."And Yuki dragged his brother out of the room "When you start calling me dear, I know you are up to something." Kyo watched them depart and shook his head.

"I am so glad I am an only child"


	18. Bright Future

"Okay, so tell me." Yuki pounced on his brother in the hall outside of Kyo's door.   
"Why, Yuki-kun. Whatever are you talking about?" Ayame countered.   
"You haven't shown your face around here in all the months Kyo has been here, suddenly on the day he may be released, here you are. All friendly and conciliatory. I don't buy it. So spill! And no holding back, or you won't see me or Kyo again in this lifetime." Yuki threatened.   
"Oh, Yuki-kun, so mean." Yuki glared, not giving an inch. "Okay, okay. Akito sent me. To find out how the neko is doing. I am to see if he is healing and report back. Happy?"   
"No! Now here is what you are going to do. You will return to Akito and report that the only reason the hospital wants to release him is financial. He is still in terrible health, and you would be surprised if he lives a month. You didn't see me. And you made Kyo so mad, it would be surprising if he ate again in this lifetime. Understood?"  

"Hai, Yuki. But, why?" Ayame was truly confused now.   
"Don't ask questions, it will only get you in trouble. Now, go and no mistakes. Or I will make good my threat. And then some." Ayame paled and walked away. Yuki took a deep breath and entered the room to see Kyo reading a book and drinking his juice. Yuki smiled. It was a good sign that his brother had not been detrimental. Kyo looked up.   
"What an idiot, thinking he could make up for his negligence by showing up late, again. It is so like my brother." Kyo nodded without much emotion. He knew that Ayame had once failed his brother, but the details were vague at best.   
"I figured it was something like that."   
"What time are your doctors going to decide if you get out?"   
"Right about now, Sohma-san." The doctor and the psychologist entered and took in the scene. The thin youth was drinking, and seemed calm. He had passed most of the test to determine the condition of his liver, kidneys, and stomach. He was no longer considered suicidal and in general seemed to be taking his recovery seriously. But, such as these cases seemed to be, it could always be a ruse on the patients part. He would need follow ups and a lot of understanding by his family. Set backs were common and if reacted to improperly or not at all, a person could be lost before it was possible to save them. Yuki had been given all the details needed to keep a look out for signs of relapse. It would help to be living with Nijan, the nurse was also expert by now on how to deal with an Anorexic or Bulimic patient. Kyo was in the best hands. The doctors had already signed all the papers, all that was left was to do one last check and say goodbye.   
"Kyo, you understand that from now on it is up to you? No one can heal you, you have to take the responsibility for you actions, and your healing. We have faith in you, and your cousin seems to also. What do you say, ready to leave?" Kyo looked from one doctor to the other and then to Yuki's hopeful face. He snorted at them, and then smiled.   
"I happen to be all packed, so I guess it's as good a time as any." And with that he threw the covers off, to expose his legs already in his pants and his tee shirt under the hospital gown. He was fully dressed sans his shoes and they were lined up next to the bed ready to be slid into. Yuki laughed, and the doctors smiled. It was a good sign.   
A very good sign, indeed.


	19. Art

I am sorry for the long delay in updating this piece. I have been under considerable stress, as a member of my family has been quite ill. I was just too much to get my fingers on the keypad. All of my fics had to be ignored, but this is just a small delay. I will try to update now more regularly. I hope this story continues to go the way I had origionally planned it, although life didn't. Please bear with me, I am still a little off my standard equalibrium. 

Chapter 19:

Akito was upset. Pacing the large room did little to dispel that anger.   
New years was approaching. Shigure had been contacted and told to make sure that Yuki attended. He had informed Akito that the teen had declined.   
Akito didn't take rejection well, and something would have to be done.   
Akito was angry. The rat, Akito's rat, had move out of the cottage, and was now living somewhere out of the families hold. The cat had been released from the hospital and no one would give the family head any information on his condition. Ayame had origional brought that foolish message about hospital expenses and the creature fading quickly due to his own personal visit. Stupid hebi would fall for anything. But Akito would not.   
And too many of Akito's Juunishi had been scurrying around doing jobs that showed little or no financial gain for the ones working.   
Akito was not stupid. Turning to face the man in the doorway, Akito scowled.   
"What?"   
"Hatori is here for your checkup. And he wants to talk to you about 'Him', should I let him in?"   
Akito dropped onto the small table at the far end of the room. A very wicked smile played over the thin lips, as the Sohma family head had an idea. An awful idea.   
(I was very tempted to say 'a wonderful, awful idea' but that would be far too Grinch like.)

Kyo sat on the mat, staring at the canvas. He tipped his head in contemplation, as he gazed at the plain white field. A thin paintbrush tapped against his chin, as he took in the perfection of the empty space before him and determined how he would transform it. This would have to be perfect, it was a new years present for Nijan, and the man had been so kind to him and his cousin.   
Kyo reached for the tube of paint and squeezed a small amount onto the piece of wood he was using for a pallette. The ooze of pale white already there tried to hold it's own against the onslaught of Pine green, and then as the brush joined the battle, it acceded to form a sort of alliance with it's counterpart. The shade they became was near to perfect and Kyo half smiled at the outcome. The brush moved to the canvas and began to trail the liquid across the white surface as a picture was disclosed before him.   
Yuki stood in the doorway a moment before heading out to school. He would be late if he didn't hurry but the sight before him had him mesmerized. His eyes followed the strokes of the brush and the magic of the painting unfurled in his sight. He had never watched his cousin draw or paint in the past, and only recently realized the talent the boy possessed. Suddenly he realized what the developing picture was, and he shook himself out of his stupor to see the clock on the wall in front of Kyo. "Oh, gods.   
I'm late." and he rushed out of the door. Kyo was oblivious to his cousin, as he continued to press the paint onto the field before him. He had now added the Sienna to the mix, and Charcoal. His fingers slid up and down the brushes handle as he adjusted the strokes to work their magic and cause the textures that brought the simple joining of canvas and paint into something that could be called 'Art'.   
Of course, Kyo didn't think along these lines. To him, it was just another of his little pictures, and he liked them just fine. He would never have thought of giving one as a present, had not Nijan praised them so completely. But this one was rapidly becoming one of his favorites.   
It depicted the day at the lake. They had just transformed back from the earlier mistaken hug, as they tumbled down the embankment. Only to fight at the bottom as Tohru gathered their clothes. He had been angry, not so much at the rat even.(no, he was angry because he had once again failed to express his feelings on the day of the visit to the graveyard). Then, they had turned and looked at the lake. A more beautiful sight he had not remembered. All his anger had dissipated, and he had been able to enjoy the day, and the sight before them.   
The addition of Cerulean and soon the painting would be complete. Kyo sat back and looked at it. He tipped his head to the left, and then to the right. It was good, and he only needed one more thing to finish it. A small dab of the Raven and he was finished. Cleaning up his mess, he put away his tools and stood. Crossing into the kitchen he looked at the plate that Yuki had insisted he finish before he could go and work on his art. It was a testament to his awakening will power that he resisted the urge that came over him to rush into the bathroom and expell the hated food.   
He still had trouble finishing his servings, but was doing better. And though the compulsion to purge was strong, he knew he needed to fight it. He had gained back 32 of the 40 lbs that he was told to gain, and this was keeping him out of the hospital. Akito had not found him and this was helping him to recover some of the lost control he had suffered from, but he still had week moments. He had been caught recently giving his food to Hopeful and once, running it down the garbage disposal. He felt shame at these times, but the remorse was short lived and a new scheme was always around the corner. Neko scolded him, and told him that he was letting his friends and family down again.

He hated Neko some times.


	20. Work

"I'm sorry Kyo. I tried, but Akito found out about my job, and made me quit. I won't be able to help pay those bills anymore. I really am sorry." Kyo nodded solemnly. He really wasn't angry. He never had expected Haru to be able to help with his debts. It was nice that he had, and Neko had told him over and over, how wonderful some of his cousins were for trying this for him. He patted Haru on the shoulder and told him it was alright. He didn't expect anything and Haru wasn't disappointing him.  
"I have been thinking that it's about time, I got a job anyway. I will be able to make enough to cover what you were paying. It will be okay." Haru looked at his cousin in shock. He had naturally assumed that Kyo was too sick to work. But, if you thought about it, Kyo wasn't really ill, just as long as he didn't work so hard that he burned too many calories, he would be alright. Kyo smiled at him, and Haru wished him luck on the job hunt. He didn't inform him that if Akito had made him quit, he would likely make others quit too, and Kyo wasn't going to make up for two or three cousins working very easily. After Haru said goodbye and left, Kyo sat back and thought about it. He realized that Akito would eventually find a way to upset things for him and Yuki. It had actually taken longer than he had expected. Now he needed a job. What could he do, that would earn them some money? He went to the phone and lifted the reciever, if ever he needed the help of his 'counselor' this was it. The buzzing continued for a time and then abruptly cut off to be replaced by a cheerful, "Moshi Moshi? this is Okamoto-san"  
"It's Sohma Kyo. I wonder if I could come and talk?" Kyo said hesitantly.  
"Sohma-kun, have you been eating, are you depressed?" Okamoto was a nice person, but a little easily sent over the deep end.  
"It's not that. I have to get a job. I need help"  
"Oh, good. Come on over, I have a slot open we can talk for a while." After hanging up, Kyo grabbed his jacket and then stopped. He dropped the jacket to pull a sweater over his head and then grabbed the jacket again. He got so cold, so easily these days. 

A short time later he sat in Okamoto's office. The decor here was terrible, it was all dark and dreary. No colors. His family, though strictly traditional, always had colors in their houses. It must have been the curse, as the different animals it manifested were always of odd colors. And Nijan loved colors. He had bright towels and rugs and even his dishes were a vivid yellow. Sometimes the colorful plates were all that kept Kyo from pushing the food away. (That and the fact that he didn't want to let Nijan and Yuki down by not gaining his weight. Not to mention, that Neko would get proddy if he didn't eat something.) But colors were something the cat loved and this office was not his favorite place.  
"So, you need to work? What brought this on? Are you sure your ready, this is quite a step?" Okamoto said in her sweetest voice. Kyo knew this was coming. He was prepared.  
"I need to make some money, my bills are pretty bad, and some of my income has been cut off. I don't know where to look. Can you help me?" Kyo was not real good at asking for help.  
"Have you considered working with your art? I understand you are very good. The nurses loved the drawings you made of them while you were in the hospital." Kyo stared at the doctor until the silence was too much.  
"Art? You mean my drawings? What could I do with that? How could I earn money with them?" Kyo was incredulous. He loved to sketch and scribble, but how that could be a career was beyond him.  
"Let me check with some friends, I think we might be able to locate something. Are you interested?" Kyo nodded and the councelor perused her roll-a-deck. She stopped a time or two to jot something on her pad, then picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Moshi, moshi Tamino-san. Yes, this is Okamoto. I was wondering if you have any openings in your art department? You do. I see. I have a client that might just fill your need. He has a wonderful talent, and yes, he is young, but I think you should meet him.  
Okay, we'll be there. Bye-bye." the phone was returned to the cradle and Okamoto-san looked at Kyo. "Come by tomorrow morning and I will drive you. Bring with some of your work to show him. It's a start. Okay"  
"Yes. I'll be there, thank you Okamoto-san."


	21. Conclusion

Kyo stepped out of the car and looked up at the tall office building before him. He wished Neko were here. His stomach was churning and he felt like he was going to be sick, and the familiar presence of his other self would help to calm him, but the empty void he felt reminded him that Neko had been strangely silent for the past week.  
He was alone in this, and frightened. He clutched his portfolio closer. That's what Yuki had called it. He almost laughed at the thought. When Yuki had heard about the interview, he had helped Kyo sort out some of his work and even gone out and bought the case he now carried them in. It was some comfort as he followed Okamoto-san into the forbidding structure, that he could almost feel his cousins support. It was as if in the form of the leather binder, Yuki was there with him, urging him on. The doors opened into an impressive foyer, with glass walls and large sculptures. Okamoto-san walked up to the receptionist, spoke to the girl with authority waving him to follow.  
"We are here to see Tamino-san. He has an appointment with Sohma Kyo for ten." the girl scanned the appointment book and nodded. "Yes, it's right here, go on to the direct elevator on the left and to the penthouse. He will be waiting I'm sure." They crossed the large room and pushed the bright red button on the wall before the elevator doors. In seconds, the door opened and they stepped in. It was a very elegent elevator, and Kyo looked around. The walls were lined in cherry wood and the floor of the small conveyence was carpeted in soft maroon plush. Soon the doors reopened and Kyo realized that the elevator was in no way as elegent as the room they exited it for.  
"Okamoto-san, come in, come in"  
"Tamino-san, Ohayo. This is Sohma-san." Kyo was pushed forward to have his free hand clasped by a large man in an expensive business suit. Okamoto had stopped and removed her shoes and Kyo was greeting the entrepreneur. Kyo followed her lead and then sat on the large comfortable couch in the center of the room.  
"So, Sohma-san, show me what you've done" Kyo stared up at the friendly smile on the man's face, and realized he was asking Kyo to show him his work. He quickly stopped staring and opened his case. Tamino reached out and lifted the first paper and examined it. It was a sketch of Hatori in his garden, with the fall of water over the rocks and the doctor sitting on the largest watching the fish that ambled around in the deepest pool.  
"Interesting, hmmm. Now this!" he exclaimed as he lifted a portrait of Kagura kneeling on a cushion in an elaborate kimono. Kyo had drawn this to see the boar actually sitting still and not clutching at him for all he was worth. The picture had come out very good, and the best part of it was that Kyo had captured the emotional play of her features that showed her intense love for him, without any other outside source. Tamino continued to scan the picture and talk about it. "This girl in obviously pining over some lost love. Look Okamoto-san, she looks near to tears, and her posture shows defeat, and drama. This is what I am looking for. Have you any others like this?" Kyo looked down at the picture, then coursed through the choices he had brought. He pulled out the drawing he made of Tohru. It was a representation of her at her mothers grave and though the picture was a little vague about who she was visiting it did show that she was feeling loss, and despair. He had secretly wondered when drawing, it how she would feel if he had died.  
"Perfect. I love this. So, you can draw the kind of emotional angsty things I need. I also have a few calls for some happier things, like for children. Do you have anything like that?" Kyo rummaged for a bit and pulled out a picture of Ritsu in his monkey form, hanging from the lamp post and chittering happily. Or possibly in apology, it was hard to tell when Ritsu was transformed, that is why he had drawn him this way.  
"Oh, good. Animals are very good with children. And for the comedy type, how about something funny?" This would be hard for Kyo, he hadn't done much funny of late.  
He hadn't actually been flexing his sense of humor lately. He reached to the bottom and as he flipped through he came to one he had not realized was in here. Yuki must have added it. The rat had asked him to draw another picture for him. It was an honest representation of that horrible dress that the upperclassmen had him wear for the festival.  
Yuki had told him, that though he loved the one Kyo had given him, he wanted to know that Kyo had a grasp on reality. So, Kyo had drawn the ridiculous dress-Yuki and all,  
and placed him in the center of a crowd of stupid fans all gathered around and fawning foolishly over him. It was funny. It had been at the time, though not for the rat.  
Tamino took one look at the silly faces in the group surrounding his cousin and broke out in the most stupendous display of laughter Kyo had ever seen. Okamoto-san was so surprised by the reaction, she looked at the picture also and couldn't control the giggles that issued from her. When they had both regained control of themselves, Tamino-san spoke.  
"I think you are just what we need around here, Sohma-san. How would you like to start next week"  
"I need a job, but what do you need me to do?" He had no idea what the man wanted from him.  
"Oh, I see. I really didn't explain. Okamoto-san, didn't you tell the boy who I am?"  
"Gomen, Tamino-san. I never realized he didn't know, but I just assumed"  
"Okay, okay. No problem. Sohma-san, I run a publishing company. I need someone to do the artwork for the covers. And some Illustrations for inside of some. I have two other artist, but the public needs new and unusual things to draw their attention. You are new and very unusual. In fact I think you have the talent to possible have a series of your own. If you want to I can connect you with an author to work on a book or two of your own. But, let's start off slow, okay"  
Kyo nodded. It was a little overwhelming. He was to be an artist? His sketches inside a published book? One of his paintings, on the cover? "I think slow is good"  
Tamino-san laughed again. "I like you, Sohma-san. I think we will work well together. Can you start next week?" Kyo nodded vehemently.

Yuki was sitting at the table and sipping tea as the door burst open and crashed closed. The rat jumped in surprise spilling his cup on the table.  
"YUKI! I got it!" Kyo came through the kitchen door and Yuki looked up. "I got the job! And you'll never guess what I am going to be doing"  
"Drawing"  
"No, I mean ,yes. But, for what. Books! Covers, illustrations and maybe even Manga!!!" Yuki put on his best surprised look and stood to clasp his cousins shoulders.  
"That's great! I knew you could do it." Kyo had the most possitive expression the rat had seen on his face ever. Yuki was more happy about it than the prospect of money coming into the house. Kyo was feeling good about himself, for once there was no sign of the self-degradation that had clouded the boys features for the last year.  
"You really did, didn't you? You believed in me. When no one else did. Thank you, Yuki"  
"You're welcome, Neko"  
"No. He's gone. It's just me, now. I'm alone"  
"Never. You will never be alone, ever again." And that vow, Yuki intended to keep.

Dedicated to James I. Cochrane  
Aug 10, 1977 - November 19, 2004  
Died of heart failure due to complication of 10 years of battling Bulimia Nervosa  
He will not be soon forgotten  
If only I could have written the end of his story


End file.
